What is going on everyone!! Lately, God has been challenging me a lot on my motives. Specifically, my heart has been wrecked around desiring a major platform and wanting the spotlight. Now, when I say that, I don’t think that having an influential platform itself is bad. I just think that when our main goal is to have the spotlight, instead of shining the light on Christ, that is when we get into idolatry, and that is when it becomes easier to neglect the Gift Giver. We cannot get into the mindset that we can only be successful and give God glory when we have influence and the spotlight. We don’t need to have the thousand-person crowd to be used by God. All we need is a willing heart that is saying “here am I; send me.”
A couple of days ago, I was having an amazing conversation with a friend of mine as we were eating lunch. She brought up a point about how it feels like we do what God is calling us to, and making the proper sacrifices, but somehow we see other people’s shining moments, and they aren’t even trying to live with any kind of morals, but yet somehow they have everything we desire (relationships, money, ect). This hit me so hard in the chest because I deal with and see the same things in my life. That question took me to Matthew Chapter 6 where Jesus is talking about not praying and doing “Christian things” with a boastful heart. He says that people who do things to be seen “have received there reward from that.” This was so big as I was talking to my friend because it encouraged us both to stay on the path that God has for us, because He has our best in mind, regardless of how situations turn out day to day.
This scripture also encourages me with my writing. I desire, so badly, to have hundreds and hundreds of readers of my writing. Honestly, it would be such an honor because it would mean that more and more people are experiencing Christ and more people are being reached. Although this seems noble, God convicted my heart. He asked me, “Ryan, if only one person read your blogs, would you continue to write?” I had to take an honest look at myself because it was a hard question. At first, it would not seem worth it, but then I remembered that God has given me a gift to steward. I did not formulate this desire to write. Mainly, I had to make up in my mind that I do not need a huge following, or massive influence to be considered successful. I just need the breath of God flowing through my very being, so that I may write, walk, and live like Jesus. After all, that is the goal right? The goal is for people to see Jesus in us (John 13:35).
When it is all said and done, I do want my life to matter. I should not worry about how many people read my articles, or how big of a stage I can get to speak, or anything like that. All I need, and all we need, is to ask God how we can use the gifts that He has given us for His glory and for His name to be known in the hearts of man. I firmly believe that when we let this settle in our hearts, it will dramatically shift our lives to make Christ known, not for our own personal gain.
I hope this has blown up your hearts, just like it has mine. My prayer is that you all see what is coming from my heart, and that we all continue to walk with a fire to avoid the spotlight, and to instead, shine the light of Christ for the world to taste and see the goodness of God (Psalm 34:8). I pray that we walk with courage and purpose this week.